What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

Yes, people, I'm a creep and I'm a weirdo. I don't think I had to spell it out for you to realise, but hey, whatever makes life easier.
I'm completely bored out of my brains because making people watch Eel Soup got boring and the internet is just such a very boring place if you're not a convicted pedophile. Dammit, if only.
But you know, I just hope I can make your lurking experiences better by sharing funny anecdotes from my life. Like today, for instance, I'm heading out of my home, with a 1m by 1m sized canvas. The weather; windy. Already, I can tell my life is going to pain for the next twenty minutes.
And, what do you know? I walk out of my front door, a gust of wind comes saiiiiling up the stairs and HOOPLAH, I almost fall over because this colossal canvas is being utilised into a sail and fucking pushing and pulling me all over the joint.
But what is a measly little Asian like me supposed to do? I don't have a car, I don't have anyone to give me a lift. Wait, I lie, I did but I didn't want to disturb them. Anyway, I only stand 160cm off of the ground, and this thing is more than half the size of me, and I'm trying so hard to walk in a straight line, but alas, the friggin' wind!

But by some miracle, I manage to keep my cool and walk, slightly wobbling, down to the train station where I get the weirdest stares. I might as well have been carrying a dead body with three penises hanging off it's left arm. Seriously......people *shakes head*

Anyway, I'm then on the train, happily listening to some Mars Volta, got my headphones in, turned it up SUPER loud so I specifically can't hear anybody else on the train (God, I hate when some one has a wheezy nose and every single fucking breath they take makes a WHEEZE. Go to hell, wheezy noses) and then, God sends the fickle fat finger of fate right down on my shoulder. At first I was confused by the rap-a-tap-tap on my comfortably untouched shoulder, and then realised that a small woman of about 50 was touching me. ARH! So I unplug my ears and ask "Mmmmyess?" And she says "Is this a canvas?" and I am so so so so tempted to say "No, it's actually my boyfriend" and then to follow it up with a dirty stare, but I'm not THAT mean. So I explain to her "yes, yes it is a canvas, I'm planning on painting on it." She says "ooooOOOohoohoOOOOh" and nods thoughtfully and opens her mouth to say something else but OH, NO, I turn around and plug my ear right back up.

Ha, beat that God.