Long time

I haven't blogged in ages, and I decided to re-kindle the love between me and the internet after I realised my mind was becoming boggled with stupid thoughts and ideas that needed to be written down and read by lurkers.

I have recently become extremely hormonal, to the point where I am constantly arguing with my man about the stupidest shit that could ever be imagined. And I cry at the smallest things e.g. Independence Day was on channel nine a few nights ago, and the first lady died. I cried. So much. I CRY OVER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS DYING, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!
And, I threw a scrunched up paper ball at the bin and missed. I may, just may, have cried. Oh, and I lost against Welshman in car racing on PS1 annnnd then we played Tony Hawk's and I kind of fail at video games so...yeah, I may have gone ape-shit.
So this begs the question; "what the hell is wrong with me?"


I have come to the conclusion, that I am a woman.
Yes, that's right, I have a vagina and we are best friends and I'm whipped. She controls my life. I hate her so much. I wish I could be a boy, and be all "Oh, she didn't call me back. Meh, back to watching porn." *scratches scrotum* (Sorry, I know that's a bit harsh considering some of you don't watch porn and some of you may cry if your lady didn't ring you back, but you know, stick with me here).
But I cannot (if and when I get a scrotum, perhaps then). Instead, I have to do this;
"Oh, he didn't call back...maybe...maybe he doesn't like me anymore? OMG, HE TOTALLY MET SOME ONE ON THE INTERNET! FUCK HIM! HE BETTER NOT HAVE CHEATED ON ME!....Why hasn't he called back, it's been 10 minutes....should I call him? No, I don't want to be annoying...maybe I should let it ring once then hang up...no, no, he'll see right through that..."
And so on until I end up disillusioned as to what is REALLY happening which is that he forgot.
I bet you're real happy to have a vajay-jay right now, aren't you girls? Yeah.

Although, the one amazing thing about not having a penis, is being able to walk ten meters without fiddling or touching your genitalia. A man walked into a bar....no, just kidding. A man walked into my work today, on the phone, smiled at me and then proceeded to scratch and jiggle...AND JIGGLE...his willy and family jewels while I stood there smiling back. Can you not? Could you at least turn and face the wall, a corner perhaps, and do it there? I don't want to see your man bits dancing around in your loose knickers. Hideous.
Unless, of course, guys enjoy show casing their flaccid dicks to the general public. If that's the case, by all means, don't let me stop you. Follow your dreams. You may eventually even reach stardom. Go on Australia's Got Talent. Go. Do it. Go. Just go.

So really, if you're either sex, you've got hell annoying traits. So unless you're a Lady Ga-ga, you're screwed. That's all I can say. Boys can get so egotistical aswell. Egotestical. Ha. Men.

Oh the joys of life

So this is the new year,
And I don't feel any different.

Yes, Death Cab, I agree completely. I am feeling pretty average right now, but my mind has been blown to smithereens (heh Smithers) because I have just witnessed the miracle of Special Effects that is Avatar. Brilliantly executed and sucked me right out of my chair and into Pandora. Although we had trouble discussing the movie afterward because we couldn't quite grasp the name of the characters except the main guy who had the most generic english name of "Jake", so everyone else was refered to as "Jake's Girlfriend", "Mum Lady", "Dad Guy" and "Giant Dinosaurs". We are a creative generation ( :

Yes and my New Years Eve was a big pool of drama-drama made entirely out of friends' tears. It was okay in the end I suppose? I am surrounded by love triangles at the mo and am so greatly grateful that I myself am not trapped in this Bermuda kind of situation.
I hope all turns for the better because I am not really coping with this "comfort-your-friends" kind of thing which I am generally real good at. I suppose I've become slightly disconected and cold-hearted after my own drama-drama. Apologies in advance if I fail hard at this, dear friends, I am trying my darn hardest and you should all just kiss and make up with your respective kissing-person and be happy.